@ No Porn For AMEX

No more ordering porn tapez and sex toyz over the internet using your AMEX card. Which makez no sense to me, because whatz more American that porn and sex toys?

@ Halle Berry Cops A Plea

Halle Berry pleadz 'no contest' to a hit and run and gets community service and a fine as punishment? Fuck, if that waz me, I'd have gotten thrown in county for a year. "Oh, Mr. Judge, I was so confused." I gotta try that one next time I'm in court.

@ Tommy Lee Goes To Jail

Tommy Lee is gonna go to jail. Thats what the fucker deserves for rippin off Colio's crazy braids.

@ Biggie's Killer

They ain't never gonna catch Biggie's killer. 2Pac's neither. Maybe OJ did it?

@ Marry Old Chicks

Get paid to marry old chicks.

Men in the United Arab Emirates are being offered a £3,500 bonus for marrying women over 30.

@ Penile Implants

Iz a bigger penis worth getting tossed in the hole? Maybe if you're hung like a flea it iz.

A New York woman faces up to seven years in jail after she was found guilty of trying to get her insurer to pay for a penile implant operation for her lover by pretending he was her husband.