The freak who was convicted of stalking both Nicole Kidman & Claudia Schiffer is apparently not deterred. Hooker, 40, laughed and insisted: "This won't stop me asking out other Hollywood actresses." And it gets even better - he's going to countersue Kidman. What a loon. How the hell can he countersue Kidman over a criminal charge, that he's been convicted of no less. Countersuing is a civil action and implies that he's been sued by Kidman in civil court. But we can't expect him to understand that. Not when he's posting some of his poetry to Nicole up on the web.

Plus, he's running for President in 2004. And he wants to switch to online voting - of which his company would control - Finally, all voting should be done on computer via the Internet. This would vastly simplify the process, and eliminate fraud and corruption, as many safeguards could be built into the system. Hooker wants the government to have this system in place before the next Presidential election in 2004. He states that his firm Net-Speed.com could do this and this would save the government a lot of money in all future elections. Umm, yeah. What a total freak.

Cleopatra was not fat & ugly. As a Mediterranean woman she was obviously a little plump.

There's a sex-crazed monkey on the loose, and its trying to get it on with female humans, dogs & cats. Watch your backside ladies. Has there ever been a story about a monkey that wasn't funny?

The old geezers @ Sun City are all turning into sexual exhibitionists. Lights installed by the center to impede the amorous activity were soon vandalized. The average age of this little community is 73. I think we just found a place to re-locate the sex-crazed monkey.

The hate-crime slippery slope: "One of the areas for the hate crime is sexual orientation, and certainly an allegation that someone is a child molester goes to their sexual orientation," Barrett said. "We believe that may support a hate crime enhancer." There you have it. Child molestation is now a sexual orientation. I always just thought it was a sexual crime.

The Phantom Edit? Apparently, there is an edited version of The Phantom Menace floating around on the web. A "Star Wars" fan identified only as "William" claimed to have downloadable MPEG files of the film that he was prepared to post next week. Another fan from Van Nuys, CA, said he saw "The Phantom Edit" tucked away on the shelves of his local Blockbuster Video. Several said comic shops in major U.S. cities are openly selling the new version of the film, but others were already calling the whole thing a hoax.

What's your prison bitch name? [thanks MiniEd]

What do I do when I'm bored at work? I watch The Times Square WebCam. I keep waiting to see someone get mugged - (Sigh) even New York can be boring!

Marilyn Manson might just kick G.I. Joe's ass this fall when Fewture Models releases four action figures representing his song lyrics. Check out this site for a preview of some of his disturbing dolls.

It looks as if Chuck Palahniuk (you know, the guy who wrote "Fight Club") may have another novel making it to the big screen. "Survivor" (which I just finished up over Mother's Day) may star Nicole Kidman and have a soundtrack by Nine Inch Nails (although Marilyn Manson has also been in talks with Palahniuk). You can check out the Chuck Palahniuk Writer's Cult for details or check out this NIN homepage for a quick read.

Oh please no. Just the thought of them turning what is a great book, but unfortunately a horrible first movie, into some kind of series is just disturbing. Lions Gate sees great potential in their Psycho franchise. They envision a series of films where young actors can launch their careers. "If we make good movies, we could have a franchise here," Lions Gate executive Michael Paseornek told Variety. "It's up to us not to blow it."

Know how you don't blow it? You leave it alone. You pretend that the mistake that was casting Christian Bale never happened and let the book stand on its own. What you don't do is cast William Shatner. Shatner would play Professor Robert Strickland, an acclaimed profiler of serial killers for the FBI who's since changed professions and become a univeristy professor after his final case -- which involved Patrick Bateman.

Maybe they'll make it campy. Shatner is versitile enough - maybe a musical? And he does have the suspicious drowning death of his last wife giving him that creepy potential psycho/OJ/Robert Blake vibe.

The Hooker [Matthew Hooker] who stalked Nicole Kidman [mentioned yesterday] has also apparently stalked Claudia Schiffer back in the Spring of 2000. And it gets better:

Matthew Hooker, 40, has filed a lawsuit in Los Angeles against American Airlines and Iberia Airlines blaming them for ruining his "Easter holiday" with Schiffer at her home on the Mediterranean isle.

He claims in his court papers that two passengers on his flight to Barcelona "drugged" him and stole his credit card and driving licence.

As a result, he says, he could not rent a car when he reached Majorca and was forced to spend much of the day walking with "heavy luggage" to Schiffer's villa.

They need to lock this guy up in the cell with the Martina Hingis stalker. At least those 2 would have some interesting stories to tell eachother.

Shouting "Jesus Christ" gets team disqualified from the Tennessee state doubles title match. "You allow 'Jesus' and you allow 'Christ,' but you won't allow them together?" Boyd asked Genosi. "That's ridiculous." Thats an understatement.

Finally, kids themselves are starting to take an interest in the ridiculuous zero-tolerance policies that many schools now have. One graduating class in Florida is going to boycott their own ceremony unless Lindsay Brown, who was suspended and banned from her own graduation after security found a kitchen knife in her car, is allowed to participate in the graduation. This girl is a National Merit Scholar, and the knife fell out of a box in her car while she moved into a new apartment over the weekend. And thanks to Gordon we know where to direct our anger.
Principal: Fred Bode
Phone: (941) 947-9400
Email: fredb@lee.k12.fl.us
I recommend that we webmasters make an issue of this. It's so rare that we have something like an email adress to let the morons in charge know what we think. I say call the bastard. Fill up his voice mail with messages telling him how stupid their policies are. Use words like 'draconian'.

Here come the environmentalist extremists. Two arsons in California & Oregon are thought to have been started by the Earth Liberation Front. On Monday afternoon, ELF spokesman Craig Rosebraugh said: "At this point, the ELF has not officially claimed responsibility. But I wouldn't be surprised if an official statement came out." Nice. Hopefully they'll climb back up whatever tree they've been living in for the last few years.

Headline of the Day: Hooker stalks Nicole Kidman.

High school students in Denver stage a same-sex kiss-in as a protest against the school yearbook which wouldn't run a lesbian kissing photo without the permission of the 2 girls parents.

The perfect gift for the aspiring lady politician in your life. For the best results, the BRAVA® Breast Enhancement and Shaping System should be worn a minimum of 10 hours a day for 10-12 weeks. It costs about $2,500 and can enlarge breasts about one cup size. It kinda looks scary.

Would you vote for this girl? Thats whats called a rhetorical question. She even has a platform: She'll give free plastic surgery to everyone if elected and promises more nudist sites and beaches. How come no real politicians looks like this?

A Florida doo-wop singer was arrested and accused of escaping from a New Jersey prison in 1974 while serving a sentence for killing his girlfriend's 2-year-old son. Of all things, he claimed to have been a member of Sha-Na-Na.

A prisoner in Indonesia has discovered the fountain of youth - his own penis. Yep, every day since 1997, he's been drinking [and bathing in] his own urine to stay healthy. "I've found that drinking one litre a day is enough. The rest I use for massage." His wife also drinks her own urine.

I'm not sure what this picture looks like at first glance - but its supposed to be a tiny lawn troll in the image of Russell Crowe dressed in his Gladiator costume. He must be so proud.

The decline of the value of a college education continues. The University of Illinois offers a class called - History 298: Oprah Winfrey, the Tycoon where you can study Oprah ... as a prism to get at the intersection of race, class, and gender in the post-civil rights era."

Where are the McCarthyism catcalls?

E.T. is back. Or at least his image has appeared in some loon's wooden fence. "I don't want him to disappear again like he did in the film."

The secret to beating depression has been discovered - simply clinch your anus 100 times per day and you'll be happy as can be.

Monica wants that dress back. Maybe her and John Bobbit can pair up their infamous items together for the ebay auction of the year.

Not suprisingly, Shrek opens huge. Making more money than any other animated movie except Toy Story 2 in its opening weekend.

Feminists are pissed because the UCLA campus newspaper ran an ad which talks about The Ten Most Common Feminist Myths.

And the Reverend Al Sharpton is going to run for President in 2004. Since politics is increasingly about race and income, rather than policies - "I think we need to look at running a black in the primary"

Back in early April we mentioned the kid who got sent home because he was wearing a straight pride shirt that the principal didn't like. Well, he's back in school wearing the shirt [so are his friends], after winning a temporary injunction in US District Court. The school's argument is just pathetic: The language makes gay or lesbian students, or those with gay or lesbian family members, uncomfortable, they said. And of course, anything that makes someone uncomfortable should be illegal.

There were 4-year-olds watching this. They don't know how to handle this. They can't understand. Sounds serious, no? Too bad they are talking about killing a cow on a school campus as part of a 'farm experience'. Its not like this was some big suprise, the damn cow's name was T-Bone afterall; and I don't think it was an aspiring rap artist. Wow! This is where hamburger comes from. As you might have already read, I think that attitude is important.

How you get lost in a forest for 11 years is beyond me. Kid was 12 when he disappeared. He's been gone so long he can't even remember how to speak the native language.

Kevin Spacey sued and won a case against a cybersquatter who had registered a misspelling of his name - Spacy. I can't wait until someone who's name is actually spelled Kevin Spacy sues Kevin Spacey for cybersquatting. Then after the real Kevin Spacy gets his domain name from Spacey, the cybersquatter ought to come back and bitch because he got the domain taken away by a guy who it didn't rightfully belong to. Ah, if only.

Web surfers hunt for information the same way animals hunt for prey.

The Austrailan military has decided that war is "too dangerous and dirty" for women.

Roger Clinton is claiming to be a victim of political profiling in connection with his January drunk driving arrest in California. Never mind that he is actually guilty of what they are accusing him of.

New golf scorecard from this weekend is up.

A new study says that UK women aren't breast feeding their kids enough [they use a bottle instead] because it isn't shown in soap operas often enough. No word on how UK women have figured out that they have to shit and piss a few times a day without it being shown on their daily soaps. And maybe the soaps are just trying to protect the kids from heart disease.

I apologize for the stuff around here not being formatted consistenly over the past couple of weeks. I'm fooling around with how I would like to present information - even though it doesn't always look so great in the existing design. Within the next 30 days, I ought to have up a new design with hopefully, some minor changes to the presentation that will make a noticable difference.

The first being the death of banner ads. Nobody clicks on them, and even if they did, I wouldn't make anything more than loose change off of them. So out they go.

The second will be to restore the ability of you readers to leave comments on the stuff posted here.

Third is pictures. I'm burnt out on the text, text and more text look that I see not only here, but all over the web. So more pictures integrated both into the postings and the design.

I'd also like to get some more help with the daily content on the site. So if you are a regular reader and want to contribute, even on a irregular basis, send me an email and I'll get you set up.

It really amazes me how much Jonah Goldberg's writings reflect my own attitudes. From his style of writing, his humor, and his political positions are as close as any other columnist has ever come to my own. Today is no exception:

As John Ashcroft said a month ago, "As an American who cares about our culture, I want to restrict a mass murderer's access to the public podium. I do not want anyone to be able to purchase access to the podium of America with the blood of 168 innocent victims."

Unfortunately, most of the media sees it differently. Everyone from Gore Vidal, who's covering the execution for Vanity Fair, to each of the networks, believes that if you kill a bunch of people, you automatically become fascinating and your ideas are noteworthy. Vidal told ABC news recently, "I became fascinated by [McVeigh]. First of all he's a very good, clear writer and he knows a lot about the Constitution and is very interested in the Bill of Rights."

Gosh, what a shame he had to kill all of those people to get noticed.

Sometimes the alpha male will permit subordinates to fondle his scrotum.

Monkey-man causing panic in India. ... local residents are saying the attacks are by a genetic scientist who experimented on himself with an unspecified and untested serum.

A true 3-D computer monitor may be coming. It uses multiple layers of LCD to give the illusion of separate foreground and background layers on the screen. Prototypes are coming next year.

They are useless, but wonderfully entertaining nonetheless:

The Surrealist Domain Name Generator. That could really come in handy next time I'm looking for a domain name.

And Retrovision - which gives you a look at what something used to look like. Go see for yourself and it'll make sense.

There are some good arguments against the death penalty. I don't agree with them, but I can at least recognize a good argument when I hear one. This is not one of those arguments.

Maybe somebody could explain what's the point in death penalty in any given case. Does it prevent people from committing murder? Obviously not as demonstrated by the huge amount of violent deaths in USA.

I'm so tired of hearing this argument. Putting some criminals to death does prevent "people" from committing murder. Don't beleive me? Go read some statistics about the number of murders that happen inside prisons. I can guarantee that after we put McVeigh to death he will never kill another person. If we leave him in prison, can you make the same guarantee? Or maybe we aren't concerned about one prisoner killing another?

The death penalty is not some huge social engineering program designed to keep everyone from killing everyone else. It is an extreme penalty for an extreme crime designed to keep that one person from ever violating anyone elses civil rights. Thats all it needs to accomplish to be successful. If it has any other collateral effects, such as keeping others from committing murder, thats a bonus. The fact that it doesn't measurable enact that result, does not make the death penalty a failure.

Because the sentencing of criminals can be so subjective - and often hinges on the emotions and biases of jury members, some psychiatrists thought it'd be a good idea to create a depravity scale to objectively measure how bad a crime was. In his effort to create a scale to measure depravity in defendants Welner created a list of 26 indications of intent, actions and attitudes which could be used to rate crimes. You can read more about it @ the Depravity Scale website and if you are up to the hack challenge, you might even be able to participate in its development.

It was bound to happen. Conduct enough studies about a particular thing and they are sure to say that it isn't safe to consume. In this case, its what kids drink thats of concern - and the concern is that kids can't drink anything safely:

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommended this week that kids' fruit juice intake be limited. The academy says too much fruit juice might cause malnutrition, undernutrition, diarrhea, flatulence, abdominal distention, and tooth decay.

Scary stuff. How about alternative beverages? Soft drinks? Sorry. Government nannies at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention advise against children consuming soft drinks.

Milk? Nope. The Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine, a consort of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, is conducting an aggressive national campaign alleging that milk is a health risk to children.

Water? You'd have to be pretty brave. The Environmental Protection Agency claims the arsenic in our drinking water causes cancer.

Thirst and dehydration seem to be the safest — or at least the most politically correct — alternatives.

Mother escorted out of school cafeteria by security because she let her 5 year old son sit on her lap during breakfast at school. Yes, really. Jones was asked to "refrain from physical contact with her son in the school." Mommy, why won't you hug me?

A 17 year old in New Hampshire committed suicide, just like his older brother two years earlier. Warning signs? He had taken the lead role in 'Ordinary People', a play about a suicidal teenager racked with guilt over the death of his older brother. What warning signs?

Why soccer fans are the most violent sports fans in the world is a mystery to me. 121 fans die during a match in Ghana. ...the West African country's worst ever soccer disaster ... with five minutes left Wednesday night when Asante supporters began throwing bottles and chairs onto the field. At least soccer isn't popular here in the US.

Son ordered to remove web address from mother's grave.

Go bet on ass racing.

Kenyan woman has breasts removed - they were extras, she had a pair to spare. ...the problem started as an itch but after three months the breasts started to enlarge.

Teen so scared of getting circumcized, he had a heart attack

There's hope for ugly guys yet. Ugly males make better partners to females. No use yet found for ugly females though. ;)

Toys R Us getting sued for 'racial profiling'. A black woman purchased 42 $10 gift cards for a corporate party with here company-issued AMEX card. When folks tried to redeem them, they were told that the gift cards had been canceled because the purchaser looked suspicious.

Veal Is Tasty.

According to a study, IRS workers spend over half their online time @ work looking at porn, their stock portfolio or playing games. 37% of callers didn't get their call answered by these same IRS workers during this tax season, and when they did pick up the call, they offered up incorrect advice 47% of the time. Down with the IRS.

As a kid my dad worked for a Coors distributor and later owned a bar; my uncle worked for a Budweiser distributor; and my grandfather worked for a liquor store. In all that time around booze, never have I heard the work malternative spoken. Apparently its how the beautiful people refer to the fruit-flavored malt beverages that the kids like so much. And since kids like them, they of course must be bad. Very bad indeed.

But these products disguise the taste of alcohol and make it easier to drink. Oh the horror. Alcohol that *SHOCKER* tastes good!? And its popular!? I'll bet these fruity booze drinks are going to make teenagers do crazy things like light girls' hair on fire in school.

I really want one of these bad boys. But I've got a feeling that they aren't even available in the US. Damn, even the fairway woods are nice looking. I'm going to have to hit up my golf pro pal and see if he can track one of these down for me.

The driver & 3wood I've got now are OK, but I'm a bit tired of them after 3 years. Time for some new toys. Even though they are probably about $800. Ouch!

More people should say nice things to me. I found your site completely on accident, and enjoyed it. I loved your takes on Al Gore and the election. It's nice to know that there are still some Americans left that still have the ability to think for them-selfs. I will re-visit your site. thank you... Thanks for the kind words Chuck.

MS Office XP won't be a subscription based software - at least in the US. This isn't Microsoft being evil so much as it's Microsoft trying to change things as part of its overall vision of future computing. I have seen the vague outlines of this, but it has barely been communicated to the marketplace. This is the .Net world of Microsoft's imagination--but it's not something people will understand until "software as a service" becomes concrete to people in their everyday lives.

Software as service sucks for the individual user. I want to have control over the software I use. I want to be able to upgrade only when I want to upgrade, not whenever MS decides to implement some new feature. At the office is a wholly different story though. I think I would like to have the software we use to move to subscription. Let MS take some of that administrative load of keeping everyone on the same version and service pack upgrade levels away from me.

How about a political action committee [PAC] for bald men? HAIRPAC. "We figure we get discriminated against because we haven't got enough hair," he said. No, you get discriminated against because your feeble little mind is so fixated on your hair situation, that you take the time and effort to form this stupid PAC instead of putting forth the common sense ideas that your potential constituents want.

My favorite Democrat, James Traficant was indicted on 10 counts of things like bribery, racketeering, tax evasion... There are plenty of articles about it: [1] - [2] - [3] - [4]

death by vending machine

Pink Pistols : Gay rights meets the NRA.

Excuse me sir, you are being audited. Why? Because you made too much money last year. How much do I owe? $58,000. Well, fuck.

NY judge says you can't be fired from the police department for having sex w/ a prostitute in the District Attorney's restroom [I think he was on-duty at the time also]. This is just what we need - to make police feel even more above the law. The guy probably went out and beat up an innocent citizen to celebrate just because he knows he can get away with it.

Aren't dress codes great? "Concerns about shirts, dresses or tops may include, but are not limited to this apparel being too low cut, 'see through,' too tight, strapless, narrow straps, sleeveless, bra showing, backless, midriff showing, inappropriate, offensive or gang-related logos or language, or dirty or tattered," the code reads. One smart kid showed up at school with his body covered in Post-It Notes after it was instituted.

I'm leaving for Kansas City in an hour until about midnight Friday. Going to try and hook up with MiniEd one day. So unless Nat & Admiral Dave have been cannibalized by She, maybe you'll hear from them here.

Schools are cracking down on dirty dancing. "Teachers complained it looked like simulated sex on the dance floor and they were offended and didn't want to watch it anymore," said Hildy Jaffe, acting principal at Norristown Area High School. "We were having problems getting teachers to chaperone dances." Umm, what good are the chaperones if they aren't stopping what they deam offensive behavior?

But I don't think they are being honest about their true intentions. They don't want the students having sex with one another because they want the students to have sex with them. Ohio teacher accused of having sex with 16 year old female student, and of trying to kiss another girl. He probably got all horny after hearing about a trio of teen-age girls at a chaperoned school dance jokingly stuffed dollar bills in their shirts and gave their boyfriends lap dances.

13 year old charged with killing his 2 month old daughter. ...he said he was under stress, and punched her in head, stomach, and chest... But, since he's not 14, he can't be tried as an adult and will likely go free at age 18 or 21.

A 19 year old in Germany was convicted of strangling a 13 year old. He too was sentenced to a youth prison, and for only 6 years. The whole thing got even more weird when somebody dug up the 13 year old's grave and stole his head.

They ought to get the same treatment as those on Japan's death row. In Japan, the death-row inmates get no warning as to when their execution is scheduled. The prison guards just simply show up at their cell door unannounced.

Researcher links TV wrestling, dating violence. What is the purpose of this study? He found that almost 18% of the girls and almost 11percent of the boys who watched wrestling have had a physical fight with a date. If its to tell us that date violence is bad, do we need to drag wrestling into it to determine that?

If its to tell us that wrestling is bad, does it? I'm not arguing that watching wrestling causes date fighting. Then why the hell is that whats targeted here? Doesn't watching boxing on TV have the same impact on kids? Or violent movies? Or anything violent?

Wrestling doesn't cause date violence and date violence doesnt' cause one to watch wrestling - so whats the freaking point here other than to make wrestling look bad by showing a correlation'. Granted, its not very hard to make wrestling look bad, but this is just ridiculuous. Although, not quite as ridiculuous as this: ...he found that more than 80% of adult fans watch wrestling with their children and consider it important family time. [emplasis mine]

Sign of the apocalypse: Toeless Pantyhose.

And add Daily Radar to the list of .com implosions.

Its pretty bad when a feminest starts bashing other feminests for being too radical. But in the case of the United Nations CEDAW committee its perfectly understandable. Here are some of the things CEDAW would like to do/has done:

Force Catholic hospitals to perform abortions, even if personnel have religious objections

End Mothers' Day because its promotes female stereotypes

Libya has been asked "to reinterpret the Koran so that it falls within Committee guidelines"

Ordered the government of China to legalize prostitution

Hooray for wackos! Catharine MacKinnon [an American], has praised radical feminism for exposing "marriage and family as institutional crucibles of male privilege" and has defined "the institution of intercourse, as a strategy and practice in subordination." Why the hell does the US continue to pay dues to this organization? If this were a charitable organization in the US, do you think our government would get away with giving it money?

The city of San Francisco is now going to pay for sex change operations for their employees. "This is just one step against discrimination," said Theresa Sparks, a transgender commissioner at the city Human Rights Commission. Um, no. It wasn't discriminatory. Changing your gender isn't a medically necessary surgery - its elective. Sure, you can beg and plead all you want about how you feel like the opposite gender than what you look like, but that still doesn't justify tax dollars going to pay for your surgery. There is nothing wrong w/ your body, its with your head. Accept yourself as you are. If you look like a man, but feel like a woman; then just get used to the fact that you are an ugly-ass woman. Go with it.